Capstone: Senior show

Since I will finally be done with school in December, this semester I have to take capstone. I say "have to" because 1. it's a requirement 2. it's painfully difficult and stressful to come up with a topic. Capstone consists of class every Wednesday evening, prints for the senior show, a portfolio, a resume and a senior thesis paper (which we were informed last night, is quite official and will be on file at the University long after we are all dead and gone). Over the last three years as a Photography major at OU, I realized that I usually try to come up with conceptual themes for my work that actually has nothing to do with me personally. Without exception, those were the guidelines I unconsciously set for myself for capstone. My original idea was to document several of the wineries out here in OK, like I told my classmates, being from California (somewhat near wine country), I was very surprised to hear OK had vineyards...it's just not common knowledge. I wanted to learn everything I could about wine, making wine and the process from a grape in the vine to the bottle in the liquor store. After talking to my professor several times about the idea, I was not sure what direction to take it in, he was not terribly fond of the idea to begin with. He asked me why I was interested in wine making, just get down to the REAL reason its interesting. After thinking for a minute, I said "my mom".

I grew up in a strict (and I hate using the word strict, it has a negative connotation here, which is not my intent) Southern Baptist home. Southern Baptists do not drink, which is fine, and thats the kind of home I was raised in. I think my parents did a great job raising my sister, brother and me. I think I currently live how they brought me up to live. I am a good person, I am a Christian and I do my best to show it and live my life according to the Bible...but I drink wine. As you can imagine, this has been a source of contention in my family; but my mother's convictions about alcohol are not my own, and I'm ok with that. Now back to my reaction to why I think wine is interesting. I confided in my professor my mother's opinion of alcohol, about how it was (purposefully) not talked about in the home I grew up in, it was avoided. When I grew up and was out of the house, I was able to form my own opinion about the matter. He suggested I do something along those lines for my project, which I'm just not comfortable doing.

After our talk, I starting thinking about how much I love my mother, about how she is one of my best friends and biggest supporters. I was thinking about how every mother should be that for their child, and how sad it is that many are the complete opposite. I started thinking about all the things she has taken the time over the last 25 years to patiently teach me. I am a strong woman because of my mother; but it didn't stop there, I have leaned so much from my father too. I am the wife and official "handyman" in my own home because of what he taught me.

So there it is, my capstone project revealed itself to me last night during class. Something very vulnerable, something I'm not comfortable putting on display for 200 people to see and judge. I'm not comfortable with it, but I think I can be proud of it. I'm not sure exactly how I will translate this idea into photographs yet, I'm still working on it.