Tears

Today, I cried a little. It was only the third time I have cried since Mike deployed and I think that is really good. I keep comparing this to the first time he was deployed and it is markedly better. On the first go round, I literally cried everyday for the first two month...literally people. I woke up and was feeling pretty good today, I had my coffee and felt motivated. I took a shower and dried my hair. It was only when I started listening to the words of the maudlin music I had playing, that I started feeling a little lonely. After sitting for a few minutes, letting myself actually feel the pain of being alone for four months did I call my sister. I was crying when she picked up the phone, knowing exactly what was wrong (in the amazing way sisters do, sometimes) she asked (knowing full well) how I was doing. I asked her just to start talking, tell me about the restaurant you are eating at, tell me what you ordered for lunch and tell me about the book you are going to check out of the library tomorrow. Soon we were talking about movies and I was laughing a little. The rest of the day was nice, I played with Jezebel and actually made myself dinner instead of just snacking on rice cakes and string cheese. Anyways, I was terrified of this second deployment, but I'm doing much better than I expected. It is a constant lesson that the Lord will not give us more than we can handle, but it's a good lesson to re-learn.