Photojournalism

Someone sent me a link to this the other day:

Basically, if you don’t get a major in photojournalism, you clearly aren’t a real photojournalist. Without that $100,000 piece of paper, how will anyone know that you are a real photojournalist? Students of Ohio, Mizzou and Western Kentucky are the true story tellers of American photojournalism.

But what these students love more than their worthless majors, is talking shit on other photojournalism programs. While Brooks students like to take pretty photographs, we all know they can’t put a story together for shit. Ohio kids get so wrapped up in shooting lens flare and poverty, that they forget how to work on other subject matter. Mizzou students get off on expensive gear to make up for their inability to shoot more than a daily assignment. Western Kentucky? Let’s not even go there.

When it comes down to it, photojournalism graduates all have one thing in common: unemployment, with the bitter taste of watching photographers with no degree make more money than they do.

From: http://shitphotojournalistslike.tumblr.com

I thought it was pretty funny even though I was not a photojournalism major. However, I WAS a lowly photography major. I say lowly because the last sentence of this quote is very true. I have the kind of degree that will never make money unless you happen to be the next Peter Lik (unlikely). It is a bitter taste seeing people with no formal (or informal) training being able to make a living doing what you have been trained to do. The fact is, most of us are snobs. These "amateur" photographers are making tons of money doing wedding photography and family portraits. When it comes down to it, us "trained" photographers do want to do wedding photography, we all have our reasons. For some, its seen as being a sell-out to your trade, for those like me, we simply are not interested in that form of photography. We're especially not interested in dealing with nasty little bridezillas who threaten to sue you because you "didn't full fill your contract" when really she's just trying to get your service for cheaper. I AM interested in some form of photojournalism, which means I have to eventually have to get out of my comfort zone, get off my butt and take my portfolio in. Of course, being pregnant with twins and possibly moving out of state in a few months put kinks in that plan. But more than that, I would have to get over my fear of rejection. Being in this field, you are very vulnerable, you take photographs that you love and are happy with only to have them shot down by people with more experience. But guess what, thats part of the job and thats part of life. Being vulnerable and being crapped on comes with the territory of being human, and honestly that is one of the reasons I love this field of work. Having your tush handed to you now and again is a good thing, thats how you grow in your craft. Whoever wrote the quote above has it right, only its not relegated to just photojournalists. I know, because I have fallen into that myself, sure there is a part of me who looks down on every Tom, Dick and Harry who picks up a camera and is suddenly a "photographer".....but they are the ones with work, not me.

Wow its been awhile! Part of the reason is, I have no idea if anyone even reads this thing. Anyways, as it usually does like has been chuggin' along and a lot has been going on in theKrause household. Mike might possibly have a career change (well, career change still within the AF) coming up that was spurred by some health problems. Everything is fine and this its actually a huge answer to prayer. At this point we are just waiting to hear anything.

I graduated from The University of Oklahoma in December 2010. I'm pretty proud of myself, it was a long time in the making. It was a very long and difficult road. But now I'm done and I feel like after 4 years of marriage, we are actually starting life. Another reason I feel like this is we are expecting the birth of our identical twin girls, Susan Fiona and Penelope Lynn, in June!

So these days I'm busy cleaning the house, planning dinners and planning ideas for the nursery. There is so much more I could write it I had the energy, but I'll just leave it as life is always challenging, but we are blown away at the blessings God is continuously heaping on us!

Our 4th wedding anniversary just passed us on July 1. It was a great time to reflect on the last few years and look at how we have both grown as individuals and in our marriage. Since we are still enjoying not having any little ones to worry about, we spent a lot of time planning an overnight trip to anywhere we wanted! Ok, maybe not anywhere, I mean, we still live on a military income. We just took an awesome trip to Dallas about 3 weeks ago so we decided to stay close to home. We found this historic hotel in OKC, The Skirvin. The pool (in the basement) left a little to be desired, but the rest of the place was just beautiful. We swam for a while, went to the room and got room service for dinner, and went to Nonna's Purple Bar for some live music. It was a rainy weekend, but still very nice!

The big D

I feel like so many people I know are getting divorced right now, just out of the blue. As if they just woke up one morning and decided they didn't want to be married anymore. I don't get it. Well, I'm married so maybe I sort of get it. I love my husband but there have been more than a few times during an argument that I thought how easy it would be to just pack my stuff and head home. BUT, that's MARRIAGE. I think feeling like that is fairly normal...to an extent. It is sad that people get married and don't take their vows to heart. Marriage is hard, it is tough, tough work every single day. I have a lot of respect for people who decide NOT to get married, who decide they don't want that work and don't want to ruin someone else's life when they decide to leave after 10 years of marriage because their suspicions were confirmed. Good for you for not hurting your spouse with a divorce and emotionally maiming a child by leaving. For those of us who have chosen to marry and share our lives with someone, you have to know that marriage is not going to be happy fun time with candy canes and peaches everyday; and when things get rocky, stick it out, find help. Unless your spouse is cheating on you repeatedly or abusing you, I can't imagine what is so unfixable. If you just decide you don't really like this person that much and you want to be with someone else...guess what, you took vows saying you would be there when things are good and when things are crappy. I can pretty much guarantee that if you get divorced for weak reasons, you are going to divorce your next spouse when things get tough there too.

Dreaded AHI

Michael is coming home at the end of the month, so that is all I can really think about. Which is not helpful right now because I have my art history final at 9 am Monday morning and I haven't studied at all. I am lacking the motivation. All I want to do is stuff around the house. Part of me loves when he is gone because I usually get a few new things for La Casa to spruce it up a bit, I have a very sweet husband, and even tho he scolds me for spending the money, I love that he shows me how much he likes whatever I did. Most men wouldn't even notice and if they did they certainly wouldn't care.

Anyways, I think I'll blog for awhile and do a marathon session of studying tomorrow. I've been told that's what being a college student is all about, procrastination and spending money on things you shouldn't!

90 day challenge

Some of you guys know I started going to a Crossfit gym a few months ago, its been super fun and I'm kind of addicted. Crossfit is a combo of running, rowing, lifting weights and some gymnastics. I signed up to do a Leaning out 90 day challenge, it is $30 to buy in, all the money goes into a pot and the winner at the end gets all the cash. You take before and after photos and follow a pretty strict Paleo diet.

Anyways, I'm starting tomorrow, taking my "before" picture. I'm a little nervous, but I REALLY want to win. Who knew I was so competitive?

I'm not sure what to title this one...

So I skipped class this morning (SHHH...don't tell Mike!). I had some really weird dreams last night, it's not unusual for my dreams to be weird or disturbing in some way (which again makes me think, maybe I SHOULD be in therapy). Anyways, I woke up pretty early and was just lying in bed thinking for awhile about the "what ifs'" of my life. Few people know how difficult school has always been for me, those who are very close, know the reasons why. Anyways, my parents always raised us to think that your education does not end after high school, you are not done until you get a college degree. So after high school my parents, my sister and I went up to Washington to look at a college...wish I could remember the name. It was beautiful up there, rolling hills, sprawling fields, everything was so green. I found myself wishing I had decided to go there instead of CBU. I chose CBU because it was comfortable, ALL of my family, starting with my Grandfather went there. Not to mention, thanks to their low academic standards at the time, I was actually accepted. I spent this morning wondering how different my life would have been. I realize, thinking of "what might have been" is not a new concept, but its interesting when its about your own life. It's interesting because only you know the weight of the decisions you have made, the things you love, things you regret, things that caused you pain. I didn't enjoy my time at CBU, I made a few good friends there, but I found that people were unfriendly and created cliques quickly that I never fit into. I wondered what the college in Washington was like, I imagined everyone (being away from the superficial so. Cal.) being really nice. I pictured myself with a big group of friends I felt comfortable with, meeting a guy I married after we graduated. We would stay in Washington because thats where he got a job, we had all the same great friends, we bought a house and started having kids after being married for two years.

But life is messy, and in my personal experience, I am where I'm at because I made stupid decisions. Stupid decisions that led me to the happy place I'm at now. It is kind of a weird thought. I met Michael because I did not have the good sense to break-up with my loser boyfriend after high school, I moved home for this guy, eventually broke up and I went back to school where I met Mike after a moth of being single. With as much pain and baggage that relationship gave me, I would not have met Mike at the exact time I was supposed to. Yes I know everything happens for a reason blah, blah. It is a heavy thought that every decision you make is going to effect you either negatively or positively...and of the bad or negative decisions you make, something good will eventually be the result. Just think about it for a minute, EVERY DECISION YOU MAKE, WILL EFFECT YOUR FUTURE. Such a simple idea, with really lasting...consequences? Effects? Guess it's up for debate.

Capstone: Senior show

Since I will finally be done with school in December, this semester I have to take capstone. I say "have to" because 1. it's a requirement 2. it's painfully difficult and stressful to come up with a topic. Capstone consists of class every Wednesday evening, prints for the senior show, a portfolio, a resume and a senior thesis paper (which we were informed last night, is quite official and will be on file at the University long after we are all dead and gone). Over the last three years as a Photography major at OU, I realized that I usually try to come up with conceptual themes for my work that actually has nothing to do with me personally. Without exception, those were the guidelines I unconsciously set for myself for capstone. My original idea was to document several of the wineries out here in OK, like I told my classmates, being from California (somewhat near wine country), I was very surprised to hear OK had vineyards...it's just not common knowledge. I wanted to learn everything I could about wine, making wine and the process from a grape in the vine to the bottle in the liquor store. After talking to my professor several times about the idea, I was not sure what direction to take it in, he was not terribly fond of the idea to begin with. He asked me why I was interested in wine making, just get down to the REAL reason its interesting. After thinking for a minute, I said "my mom".

I grew up in a strict (and I hate using the word strict, it has a negative connotation here, which is not my intent) Southern Baptist home. Southern Baptists do not drink, which is fine, and thats the kind of home I was raised in. I think my parents did a great job raising my sister, brother and me. I think I currently live how they brought me up to live. I am a good person, I am a Christian and I do my best to show it and live my life according to the Bible...but I drink wine. As you can imagine, this has been a source of contention in my family; but my mother's convictions about alcohol are not my own, and I'm ok with that. Now back to my reaction to why I think wine is interesting. I confided in my professor my mother's opinion of alcohol, about how it was (purposefully) not talked about in the home I grew up in, it was avoided. When I grew up and was out of the house, I was able to form my own opinion about the matter. He suggested I do something along those lines for my project, which I'm just not comfortable doing.

After our talk, I starting thinking about how much I love my mother, about how she is one of my best friends and biggest supporters. I was thinking about how every mother should be that for their child, and how sad it is that many are the complete opposite. I started thinking about all the things she has taken the time over the last 25 years to patiently teach me. I am a strong woman because of my mother; but it didn't stop there, I have leaned so much from my father too. I am the wife and official "handyman" in my own home because of what he taught me.

So there it is, my capstone project revealed itself to me last night during class. Something very vulnerable, something I'm not comfortable putting on display for 200 people to see and judge. I'm not comfortable with it, but I think I can be proud of it. I'm not sure exactly how I will translate this idea into photographs yet, I'm still working on it.

Tears

Today, I cried a little. It was only the third time I have cried since Mike deployed and I think that is really good. I keep comparing this to the first time he was deployed and it is markedly better. On the first go round, I literally cried everyday for the first two month...literally people. I woke up and was feeling pretty good today, I had my coffee and felt motivated. I took a shower and dried my hair. It was only when I started listening to the words of the maudlin music I had playing, that I started feeling a little lonely. After sitting for a few minutes, letting myself actually feel the pain of being alone for four months did I call my sister. I was crying when she picked up the phone, knowing exactly what was wrong (in the amazing way sisters do, sometimes) she asked (knowing full well) how I was doing. I asked her just to start talking, tell me about the restaurant you are eating at, tell me what you ordered for lunch and tell me about the book you are going to check out of the library tomorrow. Soon we were talking about movies and I was laughing a little. The rest of the day was nice, I played with Jezebel and actually made myself dinner instead of just snacking on rice cakes and string cheese. Anyways, I was terrified of this second deployment, but I'm doing much better than I expected. It is a constant lesson that the Lord will not give us more than we can handle, but it's a good lesson to re-learn.

The OG

So tonight was Olive Garden night, it was the first time I have been there since working there almost two years ago. It was a little strange and I was ducking the whole time trying not to get recognized. Anyways, we had a few glasses of wine, delicious food and good company. The rest of the night we sat at home, ate our black tie mousse cake, enjoyed our fire and watched T.V. Nice quiet Saturday night!

Pizza

We decided this is going to be our week of eating out. Mike is deploying again in a few days (not allowed to say exactly when), but he feels it is time to stock up on the food he won't be able to have the next few months. Last night was Poblano Grill, a decent Mexican food restaurant close to our house. I had the spinach enchiladas, which was actually pretty good, I love spinach so I thought it was a perfect match. Tonight was Domino's Pizza, we ordered two medium pizzas and ate all but one slice. This does not bode well for my new commitment (not resolution) to get into fantastic shape, oh well it's only a few days. So I ate almost an entire pizza by myself and I feel...just so beyond gross. I will definitely be hitting the treadmill tomorrow.

2010

10 years has gone by since we all thought the world was going to end with Y2K, which seems silly now but then again we still have plenty of silly people thinking the world is going to end in 2012. It is crazy to think where I was 10 years ago, I was 15 yrs. old, a sophomore in high school and was just about to start dating my high school sweetheart. My sister had just gone off to college and I was the last one at home with my parents. At 15 I didn't have many plans for the future, I could hardly think past the next day that I got to see my boyfriend. I, like many people I'm sure, feel like I wasted a lot of time in my adolescent years, but I'm not sure how you can do much different when you are 15, self conscience and boy crazy. My last two years of high school were tumultuous, I had many broken hearts and many learning experiences about "friends" from teenage girls. I went off to college at California Baptist University at 17, not because I wanted to, but because that is where everyone in my family had gone to school before me and honestly my prospects were quite slim. I met some friends there, some friends who are very dear to me and even though we live in different parts of the country now, they will remain so for the rest of our lives. I moved home second semester of my sophomore year of college, and stayed there until I figured some things out about myself. I went back to CBU where I immediately met the wonderful man who would become my husband. Things went pretty quickly from there, I was at school for another year until I got married and moved across the country to Panama City, FL. From there we moved to Oklahoma City and I started school again at the University of Oklahoma (you'd think I'd be a doctor by now).

So here I am, all grown up at 25 years old and about the go through my husband's 2nd deployment with the USAF. I'm pleased with the way life is turning out, only thing I would like to change...I would have loved to graduate 3 yrs ago and gotten a great job making tons of money, but we can't have it all I guess. I have a great God and a husband who loves me more than I deserve, I think I'm doing pretty good.

Life

I'm ready for a change...any ideas?

Quick perspective

The last few weeks have not really gone according to plan, well my plan, that is.  Every time Michael and I set out to spend some time together (outside of sitting on the couch watching T.V. "together") something comes up.  He is leaving at 5am tomorrow for a week.  I obviously was not pleased about this since he just got back from being deployed and has been in class for the last two weekends.  So we decided to go on a date tonight, nice dinner a movie, the whole bit.  After showering and spending 30 min drying my 20 pounds of hair, he informs me that he is not feeling well enough to do anything.  He started to not feel great last night and was trying to kick it all morning.  In true frustrated, over-emotional wife fashion I kind of threw a fit.  I felt bad that he is not feeling good so I don't want to force him to take me out when he just wants to be in bed, but I was actually really mad at the situation in general.  We decided to just go to dinner and rent a movie (still not a bad gig), but I was having a hard time pulling myself out of my selfish stupor.  So while I sat pouting, I came across a blog of a girl I went to college with who just wrote about her sister who just passed away last week.  I did not know this girl very well, but it still struck me, it is always hard to hear of someone so young, who has kids, passing away.  I can't imagine how painful that would be, and as a Christian I am supposed to be able to handle a situation like that much differently than a non- Christian.  I sat and thought about how this girl was dealing with this loss, she was praising the Lord that people came to know Christ from her SISTER'S FUNERAL.  

And here I am, perfectly healthy with an amazingly loving husband, with a family (and family-in-law) who love me very much and I'm sitting on the couch pouting about not getting my silly way for one night.  I appreciate and welcome perspective every chance I get, and thank the Lord that I am not (always) too blinded by selfishness to see it. 

My Babushka

No longer husbandless

So my sweet lovin' man is back home after being deployed since September.  The first week he was home we spent with his family in southern California. It was great to see the fam but we were both pretty ready to get home and just enjoy being together again.  So now I am back in school, Michael is heading back to work and we're just hanging out.  Readjusting really hasn't been too difficult, it's just nice to have him home!  

OK, I think I fixed my website. The new one is: 

web.me.com/tlkphotography

Lets see how long this one decides to work. 

Home Alone

So it is Christmas eve and I am sitting in front of the fire at my parents house all alone actually.  My sweet sister-in-law (including her husband and 21 month old son) have the flu.  Both of my parents have taken her to urgent care because my brother is in no condition himself to be driving around town at 8pm on Christmas eve.  And while it really stinks to be home alone with not much to do on Christmas eve while your own husband is deployed, I really don't want to be feeling sorry for myself because I know Liz (the sis-in-law) would rather be anywhere else than urgent care herself.  

So I decided to take a little time and enjoy listening to Dolly Parton's Home for Christmas CD.  I have to admit that I really do enjoy Dolly Parton, maybe I should visit her theme park, Dollywood.  Tonight has been pretty good, I made dinner for my Mom and Dad (Apple cider chicken, horseradish mashed potatoes, and roasted green beans and tomatoes, yes I am bragging a little).  And after I'm done with my ramblings here, I plan to make Almond roca cookies, dang I'm good. 

Anyways, we got some good news today.  Michael is supposedly leaving the desert the first week of January and heading back to OK before trying to get a flight to L.A.  I say "supposedly" because the military has a fear of commitment.  I won't believe they are sending him home until I get a call from my darling saying he is IN FACT back in the great state of Oklahoma.  From there we are planning on getting a hotel room somewhere close the the beach to do what is it married people do after being separated for an extending period of time (I'm sure you can use your imagination, but please, no visuals).  I think there will be much time spent with his family in So. Cal., along with seeing our friends as much as possible.  After all of the family time is over, we head back to Oklahoma so I can start yet another semester at OU (which I am actually kinda looking forward to).  I'm looking forward to driving home with Mike, we usually have a pretty good time road tripping across country.  

Now I'm going to call to see if Liz is still alive and then make cookies while listening to the timeless Dolly.  I should be good at being alone after the last few months, right?  Sure I am, especially when I have something to look forward to, I love being home in front of the fire, one of my favorite places in the world...and I love cookies.  Merry Christmas, I really hope everyone had an awesome year and an even better one coming up.       

Aycock, Shumaker, Cassidy and (1/2) Krause Thanksgiving

I was fortunate enough to spend Thanksgiving with my family this year.  It was great to be home for my favorite holiday of the year with the people I love.  It was emotional when we went around the table talking about what we are thankful for, but something I will never forget.  Maybe it was me, but this was a remarkably low-stress Thanksgiving...one for the books.  And of course only one thing could have made it better...having my other 1/2 with me.   

Family picture time, I think this was the 8th one...

Chillin' with Grandpa, we matched.  

He is very proud of his belly button.

Pure amazing-ness